NEW AGE REPORT CARD

Well, okay, fine — so it’s not exactly the Honor Society.

KINDERGARTEN KONSCIOUSNESS — B+
NURSERY (RHYME) NIRVANA — C
ELEMENTARY ENLIGHTENMENT — A
JUNIOR HIGH JEHOVAH — WITHDRAW
SOPHOMORE SOPHIST — D
SENIOR FELLOW IN AWARENESS — NO CREDIT
POST-GRADUATE IDIOT — PASS
PROFESSIONAL PROCLAIMER OF PLATITUDES — SATISFACTORY
EMERITUS WIZARD — INCOMPLETE